Salute to the Media Whores I

"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times Building." Ann Coulter

"You will admit that at least 40 percent of any vote in a Democratic race is humorless feminists." Tucker Carlson

"I believe that global warming is a myth. And so, therefore, I have no conscience problems at all and I'm going to buy a Suburban next time." Jerry Falwell

"If I were president of the United States, I would include Moslems in my presidency." Jerry Falwell

"I think the Moslem faith teaches hate." Jerry Falwell

"It is God's planet - and he's taking care of it. And I don't believe that anything we do will raise or lower the temperature one point." Jerry Falwell

"You want to have two guys making out in front of your 4-year-old? It's OK with them. A guy smoking a joint, blowing the smoke into your little kid's face? OK with them. And I'm not exaggerating here. This is exactly what the secular movement stands for." Bill O'Reilly

"I have often thought that if a rational Fascist dictatorship were to exist, then it would choose the American system." Noam Chomsky

"Well the reason I do that sometimes is because I think it's important not to let people make some sort of inflammatory comment and then try and turn the corner and make it seem like they didn't make that comment - which is what you see on TV a lot, particularly these professional talking heads." Dan Abrams

"Looks like a pretty serious race unfolding." Wolf Blitzer

"Too close to call!" Wolf Blitzer

"Be careful. Journalism is more addictive than crack cocaine. Your life can get out of balance." Dan Rather

"Despite what many Americans think, most Soviets do not yearn for capitalism or Western-style democracy." Dan Rather

"Folks, let me point out something to you, because for a lot of people in Washington, they could not be more surprised if Fidel Castro came loping through on the back of a hippopotamus this Election Night." Dan Rather

"I had someone at the Houston police station shoot me with heroin so I could do a story about it. The experience was a special kind of hell. I came out understanding full well how one could be addicted to 'smack,' and quickly." Dan Rather

"The Michigan Republican primary apparently is tighter than Willie Nelson's headband." Dan Rather

"The reelection of Bill Clinton is as secure as a double-knot tied in wet rawhide." Dan Rather

"They may have turned this up, whether you had the Paula Jones case or not. But again maybe not, but again that's like if a frog had side pockets he'd probably wear a handgun. Dan Rather

They say California's the big burrito; Texas is a big taco right now. We want to follow that through. Florida is a big tamale." Dan Rather

"This race between Dick Swett and Bob Smith is hot and tight as a too-small bathing suit on a too-long car ride back from the beach." Dan Rather

"What I say or do here won't matter much, nor should it." Dan Rather