I've got a few more:

Politicians should be thankful that there is a crisis in the Middle East. Otherwise, the press might spend more time investigating the numerous ethics violations in Congress.
Here, here! To the lobbyists, who last year spent a record $2.28 Billion dollars, which is sure to be topped once figures for 2006 come in.
Thanks for PAC's - Without this loophole, how else could all that soft money be filtered, washed, laundered and shipped back out with such great efficiency?

Democrats should be thankful for corruption, bribery and sex scandals... they rode the wave from that Tsunami right onto the shores of victory November 7th.
Be thankful the FEC has no balls.
Be thankful (especially Robert Byrd) that there are no term limits in Congress.

And lastly, be thankful that global warming is a hoax, because - shit, if it's for real, then we're really fucked, aren't we you lame-duck sacks of shit in Washington?
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